Hello World, Justin here.
It’s late at night here but I felt the need to write this post before heading to bed. I have a very bad problem which is that I have the tendency to at times descend in to such a negative state of mind that it’s difficult to claw my way out of the negativity. My own inner thoughts wreck havoc on my self-esteem and confidence. It’s a truly miserable feeling and I’ve just recovered from one such session of negative “spiraling”.
This happens mainly when I think of my worth and if I’m truly good enough to date anyone I like. I have a major self-worth issue which is that I don’t have any, self-worth that is. I’m not a depressed person, but the spiraling can really exhaust me at times. My only solution to stop the chain of negative thoughts slowly strangling me is to seek insight on the internet about the reason for why I’m spiraling. Most of the times it helps, giving me hope and strength to push away the darkness inside of me, even when it doesn’t help it still eases my mind allowing me time to recover.
This self-deprecation that I do is not healthy and I know it, but how can I defeat my greatest demon? It rests now, it has returned to its dark pit where it will reside until I allow it access in to my thoughts again. The battle will continue.
I write this post now because the experience is still fresh in my mind and I felt the need to share with you the struggles that others go through, you out there are not the only one with problems that seem to difficult to solve or to enormous to even begin comprehending it. Friends and family read this blog at times and if they see this post I want to let them know that it would be really uncomfortable to confront me for this is my problem to solve. A problem of worth and identity that everyone must face.